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Sofaering Eeejits

June 14th, 2010 by · No Comments · Features, Football

'The World Cup is every four years, so it's going to be a perennial problem' - Gary Lineker

Don’t know if I can stand any more inane banter from the ITV and BBC sofas. Just four days in and they are all looking like the’ve run out of whatever passed for intelligent comment. I guess they can just about swing it for an hour a week but this is descending into torture [for both sides].

I can’t be alone in noticing that Lineker is struggling not to look pissed off whenever he has to mention Colin Murray and his late night round-up. Could it possibly be that the highlights show is such a blessed relief after the mind-numbing, cliche ridden, banalities of ex-footballers?

It can’t be coincidence that the only people not talking vacuous shite are the non ‘experts’. That’s right, the writers and presenters who’ve never played the game. What the ***k would they know. Remember that Harry Carpenter – couldn’t lift a glove – useless.

Get the bin-men in, set fire to the sofas, and get someone in front of the cameras that looks like…

1. They give f**k
2. They have an opinion
3. They have an opinion worth listening to
4. They can construct a sentence that they haven’t already spouted in the last 2 hours.
5. They are not ex-Liverpool players
6. They have an ounce of personality
7. They are NOT James Corden

WCO recommends a pub with no telly or these, less than po-faced, islands of intelligence.

A National TV station that isn’t in it so can just have a few jars.
A writer who doesn’t usually cover football.
A bunch of workaholic journos who love the sport and are too ugly to be allowed on TV.

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